Back at the gym
Finally, after two weeks of being sick, I finally made it to my free fitness class Mississauga. It felt great to be there. I always enjoyed spending time over there. After each class, although I am tired, my body feels better. I am in a better mood when I exercise a little bit. Not to mention that I get rid of my pain for a few days. The last time it went away for almost five days, which was amazing. Five consecutive days of being pain-free. That was something.
Since it does not happen to often, I took advantage of the situation and I did some of the things that I would not regularly do. I went dancing, I rode my bicycle again (after almost five years), I walked twice a day along the Canal. I could not believe how great it was to feel normal again.
Then when the pain returned I wondered when or if I would be able to benefit again of such luxury. Yes, being pain-free is a luxury.
March is already here. There are only two months left until my forthcoming surgery. I must confess that I am a bit worried about it. Not that I would not trust the doctors. Oh, no! This surgeon is brilliant. I read and heard only great things about him and his team.
What gets me worried is the fact that the results won’t meet my expectations. I tried as much as I could not to let fear creep into my mind and get me thinking, creating endless scenarios, all starting with “what if”.
These what ifs are dangerous as they can poisonous one’s mind. In my case, I am not complaining much about the pain because I mentally block it. It takes a lot of effort and self-determination to achieve this task. If I allow myself to have negative thoughts, then I won’t be able to block the pain anymore and that it would be detrimental.
The only reason my specialist allowed me to go for another surgery was because he considered I was ready for it. Mentally strong and ready to deal with it. If I crumble now, I blow my only chance to a better life.
That being sad, I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed having fun at the gym today. The girls really cheered me up. I am happy I was able to go there this evening.